I say goodbye

I kissed my mother's cheek
Shook my fathers hand
My throat constricted tight with all the words I could not say
so I nod and smile
And I set my face so they would not see my fear
for what awaits

Their forced smiles bright
Forced smiles that wore away their youth
We made light, as best we could in such circumstances
Yet my mothers hug lingered
And my fathers hand clasped mine tight, till the knuckles were splotched white

I am no longer a child
But how I long to curl myself against them
To melt into the protective shield of my mothers arms

I say goodbye

I lie pressed against soggy earth
Its cool embrace brings no comfort
Never again will I feel my mothers kiss upon my cheek
My breathe comes out in sharp-edged gasps
I cannot stop the fear from rising and crashing like a broken shore
for what awaits

My blood empties itself into that dark, unfamiliar land

Dust to dust

My hands, knuckle white, washed crimson, clutch against the gaping wound in the landscape of my body
I feel nothing
No pain
No peace
Only fear
fear that has worn away my youth

I am only a child
I long for the protective shield of my mothers arms
The firm grasp of my fathers hands

I say goodbye

(written Anzac Day 2018) (- 100 Years)