You (a love poem)

your voice is like a silken ribbon
its golden hues wraps itself around my heart
taking it a willing captive
leading me down paths where only joy has traversed
your arms encircle me, draw me in
strong, steady, forever reaching, always at the ready
arms that feel as though they were meant just for me
tightly encasing me til we are one and the same
your kiss
my soul soars with the slightest touch as lips collide
brush and bruise, swollen and savage, tender and tantalizing
and its never enough, this perfection, this want of you
your eyes speak in a language that tongue cannot understand
that burrow deep within and see my desire
hold me there in this burning gaze
reflecting back the woman you see, you want, you need
and I feel beautiful standing there reflecting back how i see you
you- my hearts delight, my reason to be
you- echoed in my mind at moments notice and forevermore
you- the better half of me

Dream within a dream

my dream within a dream

imagination cut loose and painted a sky filled with bluest blue and rays that glistened like a golden promise
this place, as yet undefined
like a blank page or unwritten song
yet bore a name I had harbored within
and my imagination breathed fire and cut away all chains of discontent
and I fell into a sweet bliss of living in that moment

I awoke
and found myself lost in dust and shadows
silence permeated
weighted me down
pulled me into inky depths where time ceased to be
and everything I had loved had grown old and pale
and stunted by the darkness that had wound its way around my being
like a weed with a stranglehold on all of life's beauty
calmly I surveyed the mass
a vast landscape of destruction
melted into an abyss that had no end or point of being
and watched myself turn forever inward
reflecting on failures and falls and a myriad of other disasters that all led back to me
and I was consumed by the emptiness and bitter regret
sorrow became my name and faithful friend
and the dark and desolate land cradled my decaying soul til I was as close to nothing as something can get
my brokenness stretched out before me and scattered into the four winds so that I was no more
and I watched the world twist and turn and its beauty sour and life ebb and flow like an endless sea
and I awoke and found my heart had bled dry and no longer worked so I took it out and placed it on the mantlepiece to remind myself of these things

Game of Love (a song)

You say there was no overlap
no in between
no moments shared that meant a thing
you gave yourself away
stepped back
yet still you're begging me to stay

took my heart and broke it
took my love and choked it
and this bliss I shall not miss
cause this game of love is not what it used to be
this game of love still a mystery

There were no vows
no silver linings
no promises or forever bindings
you tossed me aside
moved along and away
and still you keep begging me to stay

took my heart and broke it
took my love and choked it
and this bliss I shall not miss
cause this game of love is not what it used to be
this game of love still a mystery

and I'm letting go
not moving back
no clouded judgements
not lost in your tracks

cause you stole my heart and broke it
you took my love and choked it
and this bliss I shall not miss
cause this game is not what it used to be
this game of love still a mystery
and this game of love is not what it used to be
this game of love just ain't for me

free

I wasn't sure it could be done
cease to be
walk away with no tears or regret
or feelings of longing or want
gone is the need
free
I no longer feel anything
just peace that you are no longer every thought
or the beginning of each paragraph
I have reclaimed myself
a new venture
uncharted territory
a new land for a new age
free
I have sounded a retreat
no more giving myself away to vagrants and vagabonds
hold on tight
but let go like chaff in the breeze
released from the burden of being
free
calm invades
hope sounds an advance
clutching no more to another
clinging no longer to unfounded fears
all we were has blown away
just a faint memory
a lost cause
but no longer the seeping wound
quiet the raging mind
still the beating heart
vanquish all thoughts
let go
let be
free

State

feels good
this state of freedom
no longer caught in between
love and hate
just nothing, either way
it's been this way for a good long while
this sense that nothing much matters
that I don't have to hold it all in
hold it to myself
just a new state of being
reasonable doubt
favors the strong
and a minefield within
traversed with no casualties of late
time ticks over
edging me away from what has gone before
mine eyes see the intricacies
all is fresh
renewed
the self
centered
alone
still
stuck in the state of here and now
waiting for another rainy day

Truth

I leapt to conclusions
made you into something that wasn't
something you could never be
and I knew it
but kept that knowledge to myself
buried it deep
ignored all signs pointing to obvious

I was a hollow shell
desperate for something
and so along you came
and I built an edifice to you
etched your likeness to it
and lost myself there
small belief that you were perfection

when I first knew you
there was nothing there
nothing in it
just liking you for you
no foul play
or intentions beyond a simple conversation or two
then we met again
and things changed with the usual start;

a kiss

you kissed me there
overlooking shaded trees
distorted my perception
and breathed fresh life into me
for a moment
made me believe that you were somebody else
you were hearts desire
a dream to be fulfilled
but it crumbled down

I tore away the mask
found myself searching among the remnants
lost in the destruction
found the truth of you there
truth that you lay me destitute
and in the naked light of day I saw your form
hideous and grotesque
a sad illusion broken and barren

I held on and pushed away in same moment
then let go
the mirror shattered
and I left the shards where they fell
no more delusions
discarded your affections
embraced your rejection
no longer entranced
no longer ensnared
just back to before
free in the truth
the truth of you
the truth of me
the truth of what was not meant to be