I am

I'm like a gutted fish
insides splayed out
and there is nothing left
besides blood and gore and what I used to be

I'm like a fallen tree
stripped bare
toppled by shifting sediment
where cool winds howl through my hollowness

I'm like a changing tide
coming and going
restless in my surging forward and streaming back
tumbling in sand and sea and salt and swell

I'm like a lovestruck girl
whose heart was freely given
and returned to her in piles and buckets
and torn asunder

No, not like;

I AM

I AM a lovestruck girl
who gave her heart freely, without fear or reservation
a heart with your name written upon it
a name you destroyed
and burnt down the bridges of hope
and stole all joy and innocence

and you left me here
and here i remain
wallowing in the remnants of my grand love affair
(or delusion as most might name it)

maybe I'm just a broken toy you tired of and cast aside

or the punchline of an all too bad joke

This is a death sentence
and I am a prisoner of my own design
trapped here without you
yet you are the one constant on my mind

am I on yours?

once?
often?
ever?
never?

I'll not know for sure whether I was real for you or just marking time
but it doesn't matter what I am to you, if I was anything at all,
I know what you were to me and what I AM now, molded by your own imperfections
and what I will be, when tears cease and love springs again under the direction or another masters hand