Need

need to get it out
this thing that struggles within
like a torment ingrained
carried around like a long lost friend
housed beyond the call of duty
this pain and self denial
deep seated hurt from eons and ages and eras
that i have laid claim to
and given safe harbour
even poured upon the ashes of my love
and fed it my dreams, bruised and ripped up
this thing that holds me
burrows into me
stains me
and yet i let it cling
dig in its nails
tighten the restraints
burden
bludgeon
break
comforted in its clutches
crawl into that safe small space
stunted by my own worst enemy
and i need to get it out
cut it loose
salvage all that is still left of me