Saturday, November 26, 2011

A letter to myself

At the risk of seeming completely cuckoo
I must take the here and now to remind myself
that this is no time for love and other complications
So dear heart
stop this faster beat in the rhythm of his name
cease and desist those vain fantasies echoing his sweet embrace
Pull yourself together girl!
beyond the dream lies reality
intoxication quickly erodes
and I'll be left with a constant truth
nothing this good lasts
or is even real
just a farce
a false hope
god- i sound so cynical!
when did the dreamer in me awaken to the harsh cold light of day?
when did i stop believing that love was possible?
or probable?
still
I can't deny I may wish to fall
but its not a notion i can afford to entertain
can't relinquish control in surrender to him
utter madness to let go and madness to not
let go
take a step back
breath
enjoy the moment
but hope for nothing in return
and heart,
dear even still in your brokenness and ill repair,
beat only for the beauty of all life
not just in unison for the love of one
though he can no more do what others have already begun

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