Beat

this heart
beating
little at first
rising to a crescendo
loud in my ears
coloring the world in pink hues
me
you
fascination
at what is and could be
too fast
too much
too false
too real
too complicated
and all the while
heart beats
builds
burdened by desire and want and need
insatiable
beating out a rhythm of longing
yield to it
free from constraints and expectations
and reality
free to taste and touch and see
endless possibilities and dreams
floating away
lost inside the us we have become
heart surges
full
full of fantasies and new beginnings
and second chances
flash forward
heart beats
beating till time and space cease
till matter comes to rest in fragments
and only what once was, remains
a beat
barely heard
but still there
heart still beating your song

Honeymoon Desires

If we could live this way
caught up in first tender buds of love
to always know that what you see is me
to choose this slow embrace
between courage and identity
hope on crested peaks
washed away by what i see in you
entwined by reality and longing and imagination
my light, resting in your eyes
and i find myself there
in you
fading into a bottomless dream

Unexpected

you entered like a sudden squall
dissipating the emptiness within
chasing away the clouds that had settled, nestled there, in a soul-less sky

creeping from shadows and thoughts unknown
unbidden and unexpected
igniting a spark that had long ago died and withered away

hope, an undercurrent that threatens now to spill over
heart beats in your remembrance
joy planted firmly in a newly toiled ground, choking out all doubt and despair

this is my unexpected happiness
it bears your name

Daddy's Girl

Daddy's Girl

When I was little, you were there to kiss away my tears and alleviate my fears
you taught me to be strong,
to face the world,
to be the best me

you taught me that life is what you make of it
that even when the world tries to crush you
and even when your heart has been broken into a trillion pieces no longer visible to the naked eye
that i was your forever girl

you taught me that kindness and compassion are attributes to be cherished
that all people have worth (even if you have to dig for it)
and that the only thing of real value in this world is not to be found in possessions or professions, but in people.

you taught me that life is short
that love can last a lifetime
that good men do exist
that i should never settle, but instead hold out for the best

you taught me that love is worth suffering through and for
you taught me that joy can be found in simple things
and that family is not always bound by blood, but tethered by love
you taught me to move forward even when the way back looked safer

when i was little you protected me, directed me, affected me

now you are gone.

You are gone, but you remain
I'm forever changed
you stay burrowed into my thoughts and deeds
your lessons etched into the fiber of my being
part of who I am is wrapped up in who you were and are to me

Daddy's girl, always and forever.

Forever Falling

i let you in
and in you came
crawled deep inside
and curled up
under caverns and in shadows
and settled there
won't budge
or depart
merciless mocking my heart
you etched your name deep within
and it can't be removed or even faded
my love for you
streaking across my mind like falling stars in a night sky
forever falling into an abyss that grows deeper
stretching to infinity
beyond all reason or imagination
forever falling into memories and wishful thinking
and you left me
but didn't
and won't
and can't
you planted your roots deep
choking out hope for anything beyond you and me
and all i see when i look down into my garden is the budding flowers of my love
and the stranglehold of weeds that have grown there
cutting off my love and soul
leaving me desolate and broken
i cannot remove you
remove myself from this destruction
i hold myself there
surrounded by regret and pain
and cradle it to me

Lost

Lost in her own world of fairy tales and illusions
she stands alone while the crowd presses against her like a surging wave
bound to this life of solitude
her own design and desire
...and despair

Lost in this place
this time
this space
lost in herself
lost in who she is
and who she is not
or how the world sees her
if at all

lost in familiar battlefields she has traversed before
and will over and again
constant war for who she was
and is
and ought to be
a war that has run its jagged edges upon her soul
engraved its signature mark upon her heart
that fresh, seeping wound that time may heal
...or not

it's a crying shame

Its a crying shame that you played me so
got me so low
you let me go

Its a crying shame that you aren't a man
can't make a plan
don't give a damn

Creator of my pain
you kissed my tears away
then made them spring again

And its a crying shame that you can't see the best in me
the best of me
the rest of me

It's a crying shame that you'd just up and leave
no room to grieve
no urge to cleave

Excuses and petty games
while I wait for you to take my hand
and make a stand

And it's a crying shame I'm stuck on you
that I feel so blue
that I love you true

It's a crying shame but not meant to be
so I'll let you go
and set me free