My relentless fortitude
Fades into oblivion
Dissolves away the pain
Where sky and sea collide
Restart the day
And play it safe
And play it safe
Restart the day
Where sea and sky collide
Dissolves away the pain
Fades into oblivion
My relentless fortitude
Monday, April 18, 2016
NaPoWriMo - April 13th Where to from here?
Where to from here
That may be the actual question
It's not enough to be
Or not to be
Or do
Or do not
Where to from here
When you are down
And not quite out
Thinking about the 'what if's'
And could be's
And should have been...
Like it ain't already hard enough
Work too hard
For nothing
No gains
Nothing remains
Only pains
And my suffering is a failure that I push upon myself
Denying my joy as all possibilities suffocate
Left to my fate
To stay
To go
To waste away
Wallow in more years of hollow victories in being the
'Perfect, passionate person.'
And it doesn't mean much
Except everything
Watching others clamber up the carcass of those they willingly sacrifice in the gauntlet to get ahead
Wish my ego had that kind of tenacity and no sense of justice or 'do good to all.'
Then maybe I would join them
A lofty view won by turning people into commodities
A vision navigated by fear and circumvented by insecurity
While people like me, still attached to their integrity, wonder
Where to from here?
That may be the actual question
It's not enough to be
Or not to be
Or do
Or do not
Where to from here
When you are down
And not quite out
Thinking about the 'what if's'
And could be's
And should have been...
Like it ain't already hard enough
Work too hard
For nothing
No gains
Nothing remains
Only pains
And my suffering is a failure that I push upon myself
Denying my joy as all possibilities suffocate
Left to my fate
To stay
To go
To waste away
Wallow in more years of hollow victories in being the
'Perfect, passionate person.'
And it doesn't mean much
Except everything
Watching others clamber up the carcass of those they willingly sacrifice in the gauntlet to get ahead
Wish my ego had that kind of tenacity and no sense of justice or 'do good to all.'
Then maybe I would join them
A lofty view won by turning people into commodities
A vision navigated by fear and circumvented by insecurity
While people like me, still attached to their integrity, wonder
Where to from here?
NaPoWriMo- April 10th He Used to Call me on His Cell Phone
Somewhat to the tune of Drakes "Hotline Bling"
Lovingly mocking my darlings inability to remember where he set his phone down and the daily chaos that has since ensued looking for it. (Update: he brought a new one to tide him over because we, like most people, are used to living with the intimate convenience offered in the digital age.)
He used to call me on his cell phone
send me texts and pictures too
He used to call me on his cell phone
but now it's lost and he don't know what to do
Every evening was just the same
He would use it while he played a game
Or he'd watch a billion YouTube vids
or check out the latest Trade me bids
Yeah he used to call me on his cell phone
and I guess probably other people too
He used to call me on his cell phone
but now it's lost and he don't know what to do
We've searched through our entire house
but nothing stirred not even a mouse
We checked out the cars and garbage cans
but damn that phone it's like it grew legs and ran
He used to call me on his cell phone
but now it's lost legit
He used to call me on his cell phone
He should have put a ring on it
Lovingly mocking my darlings inability to remember where he set his phone down and the daily chaos that has since ensued looking for it. (Update: he brought a new one to tide him over because we, like most people, are used to living with the intimate convenience offered in the digital age.)
He used to call me on his cell phone
send me texts and pictures too
He used to call me on his cell phone
but now it's lost and he don't know what to do
Every evening was just the same
He would use it while he played a game
Or he'd watch a billion YouTube vids
or check out the latest Trade me bids
Yeah he used to call me on his cell phone
and I guess probably other people too
He used to call me on his cell phone
but now it's lost and he don't know what to do
We've searched through our entire house
but nothing stirred not even a mouse
We checked out the cars and garbage cans
but damn that phone it's like it grew legs and ran
He used to call me on his cell phone
but now it's lost legit
He used to call me on his cell phone
He should have put a ring on it
NaPoWriMo - April 17th - The man sleeps
The man sleeps
Gentle bellow into night
Gentle bellow into night
Rhythmic song pollutes the air
And I am jealous of his tune
My brain battles against the bliss of slumber
Like a leaky faucet that won't turn off
drip
drip
drip
and I lie here
Again
As usual
As always
Feeling that frantic need rise as I begin to clock watch
And the hours slip beyond my grasp
Still his cadence mocks my weary body
My mind cannot cease its discourse
A river runs through it
Drags me into its undertow
Submerged under the flow of memory in motion
I long to join his melody
A duet in harmony
If I could just get to sleep
NapoWriMo - April 16th - we are all observers
we are all observers
Opinions punctuated by experience
or conditioned to that train of thought
Is my belief my own
or is it just a trail blazed by suppositions and superstitions
we claim this edge of existence
but there are no absolution's that I am
or that this collective entity we named "humanity"
Is
Opinions punctuated by experience
or conditioned to that train of thought
Is my belief my own
or is it just a trail blazed by suppositions and superstitions
we claim this edge of existence
but there are no absolution's that I am
or that this collective entity we named "humanity"
Is
NaPoWriMo - April 15th - begin again
Faced with your passion
And it reignites the drive
And all that hopelessness you were feeling
Slides off to the side
And it's the thing that moves you
Stirs within
Swells
This reason for breathing
Begin again
And it reignites the drive
And all that hopelessness you were feeling
Slides off to the side
And it's the thing that moves you
Stirs within
Swells
This reason for breathing
Begin again
Thursday, April 14, 2016
NaPoWriMo - April 14th
It's palpable this feeling
Sticks to my bones, my heart, my mind
Surging even into dreams
With no care of illusions
Or thinly veiled pretense
No, even my dreams lack the shelter
A dream should afford
in the middle of the onslaught
of every day life
No hiding away from my feelings in the moment of REM
Lessons here
Circles back
A tired refrain
Stitched together out of emotionality and consent
Point and prods and pokes
"You listening yet?"
Sticks to my bones, my heart, my mind
Surging even into dreams
With no care of illusions
Or thinly veiled pretense
No, even my dreams lack the shelter
A dream should afford
in the middle of the onslaught
of every day life
No hiding away from my feelings in the moment of REM
Lessons here
Circles back
A tired refrain
Stitched together out of emotionality and consent
Point and prods and pokes
"You listening yet?"
NaPoWriMo - April 12
Little golden dots scattered on a sea of black
and the hallowed moon a lovers kiss on the sea beyond
from this vantage point, with the canvas of night,
A haze of light beckons life
and the hallowed moon a lovers kiss on the sea beyond
from this vantage point, with the canvas of night,
A haze of light beckons life
NaPoWriMo - April 11th Morning
My alarm blares
Rude awakening
And frankly; all too soon
It's unnatural to be up before the sun begins it's daily streak across the sky
No, I am not a morning person
Nor usually a mourning person
(unless the occasion calls for it)
But I feel it deep in my bones at 5am
My usual reluctance is compounded by the repetitive verse swinging around in my mind
I don't want to go to work
It's a lackluster feeling
Blunt truth after the demise of my resilience
And I hit the snooze
Yup, more than once
I hit it
Wishing it would snatch back a few hours
So i could muster the fire to keep going
But the morning is here to greet me
And other people's problems await
Time to pack away my own crisis of confidence
And paint on some determination to brave the day
I'm still here
I'm still alive
It counts for something
The snooze beckons me from my bed a final time
No more delays
or stalemates
Minutes have mounted
Ticked away
As time is wont to do
And that wee small thought is like a caress
That sees me through
The first day is the worst day
NaPoWriMo - April 9th Baby Bliss
bliss is a bouncing baby
wide smiles in recognition
little hands curling around your finger
and sweet noises of contentment nestling against your neck
perfection in this moment
and all of the worlds worries and chaos seem so minuscule
so trivial compared to all that is good
and this is good
this moment
this precious point of no return
my arms full
an outer reflection of my heart
and i could do this forever
holding
cooing
loving
the bliss of you
wide smiles in recognition
little hands curling around your finger
and sweet noises of contentment nestling against your neck
perfection in this moment
and all of the worlds worries and chaos seem so minuscule
so trivial compared to all that is good
and this is good
this moment
this precious point of no return
my arms full
an outer reflection of my heart
and i could do this forever
holding
cooing
loving
the bliss of you
NaPoWriMo- April 8th
Filtered light flanks the edges of curved hills
Bleeds into long shadows cast by ridged peaks that stand to attention at our sides
And the broken back of land that hugs against us soaks in the dying rays of day
We wind through the valley, slits of shade and light flickering through the window
Till the sun dips low and fades beyond our reach and there is no more shadows and light
Only shadows
and then
Only night
Bleeds into long shadows cast by ridged peaks that stand to attention at our sides
And the broken back of land that hugs against us soaks in the dying rays of day
We wind through the valley, slits of shade and light flickering through the window
Till the sun dips low and fades beyond our reach and there is no more shadows and light
Only shadows
and then
Only night
NaPoWriMo - April 7th
Swollen clouds sweep against the blue ceiling
Brooding grays a promise of what lies beyond
Then it happens
Sky opens
Empties itself like fervent desire
The parched earth swallows greedily
And the steady hum of water thuds against the roof
And rolls a jagged river down the window
Tapping a rhythmic beat as it slaps against the surface
Pressing hard against metal curves
The movement creates a contentious push and pull
The rain balls and slides
streaming against the pressure
and retreats down
before being entirely torn away from our metal torso
at 100 km's an hour
It's an inconvenient marriage
bruised and broken skies against our momentum
a brutal dance where rain meets car in motion
a lesson in aerodynamics
as the rain races to greet us and is ripped away in a frantic haze
Brooding grays a promise of what lies beyond
Then it happens
Sky opens
Empties itself like fervent desire
The parched earth swallows greedily
And the steady hum of water thuds against the roof
And rolls a jagged river down the window
Tapping a rhythmic beat as it slaps against the surface
Pressing hard against metal curves
The movement creates a contentious push and pull
The rain balls and slides
streaming against the pressure
and retreats down
before being entirely torn away from our metal torso
at 100 km's an hour
It's an inconvenient marriage
bruised and broken skies against our momentum
a brutal dance where rain meets car in motion
a lesson in aerodynamics
as the rain races to greet us and is ripped away in a frantic haze
NaPoWriMo -April 5th
I've been jotting down fragments of thought
nonsensical interlude of a scattered mind
a sweet ramble
of cluttered chaos in clustered memories
and the pieces turn over
tumble through the illusion of my making
and fill me evermore with visions yet to be realized
a dream within a dream of my reality
nonsensical interlude of a scattered mind
a sweet ramble
of cluttered chaos in clustered memories
and the pieces turn over
tumble through the illusion of my making
and fill me evermore with visions yet to be realized
a dream within a dream of my reality
NaPoWriMo - April 6th
We looked
that instant connection
so used to it now
like an extension of ourselves
look around
everyone just the same
so when that connection
becomes a disconnection
it's like losing a limb
first world problems, I know
But we've looked high and low
that damn phone
where did you go?
that instant connection
so used to it now
like an extension of ourselves
look around
everyone just the same
so when that connection
becomes a disconnection
it's like losing a limb
first world problems, I know
But we've looked high and low
that damn phone
where did you go?
Tuesday, April 5, 2016
Regular Joe -NaPoWriMo day 4
Today's prompt was a fan letter and I instantly thought about the fight I got into with my friends who had come to spend the weekend in NYC with me when I wouldn't let them take a picture of Adrian Grenier when we saw him in the street. Funnily enough about a year later he asked me to take a picture of him when I attended a showing of his "Teenage Paparazzo." (To be fair- he asked the entire audience to take a picture of him!) They still moan about that and I still enjoy rubbing it in their faces I got the pic eventually - just not in his natural habitat of a NYC street :)
We saw you
putting change in the meter
like a regular person
just standing there
in the street
like a regular joe
My friends wanted to take a picture
a selfie out the window
as we drove by
like you were on display
I said no
said to leave you alone
we aint no Entourage
this is NYC not HBO
so we let you go ahead and feed that meter
like a regular person
just standing there
in the street
like a regular joe
We saw you
putting change in the meter
like a regular person
just standing there
in the street
like a regular joe
My friends wanted to take a picture
a selfie out the window
as we drove by
like you were on display
I said no
said to leave you alone
we aint no Entourage
this is NYC not HBO
so we let you go ahead and feed that meter
like a regular person
just standing there
in the street
like a regular joe
Sunday, April 3, 2016
April 3rd - NaPoWriMo
It's day three: i decided to look at the prompt on the NaPoWriMo site which was "Family Portraits." This is what came out of that prompt.
The painful fray of time
Unravels to its end
Caught in the undertow of broken promises
And dreams halved by distance and discord
Resolute in their agony
The air crisp with animosity
freedom brokered in the chaos of discontent
bartered in silent glances and swollen expectations
and the confines of this prison they once knitted themselves to becomes an uneasy alliance of solitude
no longer stifled
no longer obligated to the pretence of happy
Dissolution is the solution
And we, once family, remain
in tatters
in unison of division
Shards of what we were
April 2nd - NaPoWriMo
Watched "Hunt for the Wilderpeople" this afternoon (great NZ film btw) and Haiku's were featured a number of times so I decided today's poems for NaPoWriMo would be a couple of Haiku's
smile emoticon
1. The sun sunk from view
Masked by rolling dark clouds
Swollen sky floods earth
Masked by rolling dark clouds
Swollen sky floods earth
2. He loved me so
I could read it in his eyes
A mirror to mine
I could read it in his eyes
A mirror to mine
3. Clouds framed the sun
Cloaked the sky in white tones
The fall of summer
Cloaked the sky in white tones
The fall of summer
Friday, April 1, 2016
Untitled NaPoWriMo
I am a bruised soldier in a war of my own making.
Battle weary, I surge against the tide of my disconnect, a half hearted flailing.
Battle weary, I surge against the tide of my disconnect, a half hearted flailing.
I have fed and fostered this image of self hate so that it blocks out the sun of reason and gives me no freedom or release.
Locked against a common course, the heat of "what should be" as though I could simply be defined by the status quo, rages against my soul.
I am not defined by the weight of expectations or the simple business of circumstance. I will not go gently into that good night as an effergy of what I might have been.
I am bruised and battle weary. I am my own chain and wreaking ball and infinite failings.
And yet, in spite of myself, I rise against those thousand voices who try to lay claim to my mind and steal all the pieces that, woven in intricate design, brought me wholly into being.
National Poetry Writing Month (NaPoWriMo) - 30 days of poetry: Day 1: April 1st
And yet, in spite of myself, I rise against those thousand voices who try to lay claim to my mind and steal all the pieces that, woven in intricate design, brought me wholly into being.
National Poetry Writing Month (NaPoWriMo) - 30 days of poetry: Day 1: April 1st
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