It's the why that eats at me

Tis the death of us which stills my heart
didn't see it coming
like a thief in the shadows
my world was torn asunder
and i have only questions and doubts
and the burden of my rejection
and i don't know why

 it's the why that eats at me

your indifference is stifling
can't breath under the weight of my sorrow
i find myself tethered between all hope and delusion
willing to believe a lie to stop the cavernous ache that stretches out and beyond all horizon
i search for your heart
and find it locked away
or stripped bare
no longer offered up to me for care or consideration
and i don't know why

it's the why that eats at me

slumber slips away
peace has absconded with all joy
my tears are not a refuge
but a penance for my shame
my mind plays back and repeats and can find no reckoning
solitude is a dead mans vice
and i rest in a heaviness of your design
and i don't know why

it's the why that eats at me

Chains

The chains got another chink
keep adding on
extend
pretend
stumble under the weight
and i keep doing this to myself
believing

believing in words which are always broken promises
forked tongue and golden deceit woven into a dream
dreams i built my house upon

your words echo in my mind
they sound so hollow now
fill my heart with sorrow now

you're just like all the others

and i can no longer be blinded by what i had hoped would be
i remind myself that I am Creator of this disaster
for believing in sweet nothings
watch the destruction as it all implodes

The chain wraps tighter,
a noose around my neck
my humanity has been broken down
one more time
to ill repair
and I'm not sure i want to bandage the seeping wound and stem the flow
or let it all bled out

the thought of you makes me ache
our friendship has left me destitute and abandoned
and i can't suffer this truth anymore

And the chains are unraveling,
no longer tethered to this illusion of my design
it's been stripped down to bare essence
i take you in, one last time
search for what i thought you to be
and find a stranger
and me, once more misled by my own folly

and the chain crumbles in my hand
still I'm burdened by the weight of it
rust leaches in like the colors of a dying day
and marks my soul
and i keep doing this to myself
believing

in you